A couple days ago I received an e-mail with a question.
The question was about how to achieve your goals and not care what others think. Especially how do I balance this out and how do I act when facing this problem.
I thought this would be also very interesting for a lot of people.
First I want to thank you for reaching out to me and being courageous. This was an act of courage. Respect you and at the same time I am very humbled. Thank You.
I am going to start with sharing with you my experience with this subject:
About 10 months ago. I had the idea of creating a blog. I knew I had the information and I knew that it was the right path. I just felt it inside of me. But still it took me 10 months to finally do it. Why was I waiting so long? The reason was that I was afraid of what others would think of me and about what I write. I had the goal of opening that blog. I had all the knowledge. All tools were available online to start it. But still. I didn’t.
Who of us has been in a place where he knew everything he needed to know and knew how to do it but still did not follow throught?
I was in such a place.
When we have all the strategies and the tools to achieve a goal and still don’t follow through than we have a belief manifested which is limiting us to take action.
I had all the tools and knowledge. My belief was: If I start my own blog everyone who I call best friends, family, work and so on would turn away and think this guy is crazy. I had that belief because this happened 4 years ago to me when I started to change completely from overweight to doing the job I love.
We need to understand how our brain works
I call this overgeneralization. Imagine this. You are going out every night. Every night with another girl. Having a date for 4 weeks straight. And every day you get a NO! Than what most people do is they quit and say dating is not satisfying. It doesn’t make fun. What you are doing at this moment you are taking on the belief that dates are hard and not fun. Through that you adopt the belief that dating is hard and a dead end road. You will never have a “positive and fun” date until you challenge that belief.
Another example. Imagine people who wear suits all the time. I was somebody who thought these people in suits just want to sell you some kind of ensurance and pull your money out of your pocket without giving you any value. You had the experience of somebody in a suit selling you stuff which you recognized to be total BS. From that experience we build a belief that people in suits are bad.
Here is what I want you to do first:
- Challenge that belief. Do you have all the informations and knowledge that your belief is true? Not your experience but informations that confirm that your belief is true. Where does this belief come from?
I want to show you a different perspective.
I had the belief that somebody who is not pursuing their passion is not worth my time. I would not call him a friend if he would not pursue his/her purpose. I adopted this belief during my 4 year period change. What happened in that 4 year period? I got lonely very fucking lonely. I had no friends. Not even my parents were supporting me because I thought you are not fighting for your purpose and passion. I do not want to have you around me. I was very lonely. This belief made my life bad. After not being able to take that pain anymore I asked myself why am I so lonely and the answer was in me. I adopted that belief. As soon as I let go of that belief and adopted a new belief things changed dramatically.
My new belief was that every single person is a part of me and we already have everything in common even if I did not know the person. I looked at somebody and felt their emotions and understood them immediatly.
Immediatly after fixing my inner world. 4 months later I got the job I dreamed to have for the last year.
Try to view it from another angle
Imagine that belief that you are having is an opportunity for you to grow. Behind that belief is a new belief which is much more empowering and stronger than your current one. I let go of that belief that I was not good enough to write a blog and now my life has changed completely in 4 weeks. A stronger version of yourself is waiting for you!
Because of this I got this question from you and I am able not only to help you but 100’s of others people. HUMBLED!
Here are the 3 steps I use to break beliefs everytime when I am in pain or feel stuck:
- Recognize that belief. Feel your emotions. Think of the first thing that you can remember when feeling those emotions. Think about that moment. When you do not find the answer at this moment ask yourself what happened just before this moment?
- Challenge that belief. Do I have all the information that confirms that this belief is true and not self imposed ?
- What if you would not have that belief. What were the first 3 things that you would do immediatly. Write it down, feel it and DO IT immediatly
I did this with myself 4 weeks ago on a weekend. When I came back immediatly the first thing I did was started my blog. Not knowing how everything works but discovering it with the time I was putting in.
Be yourself. Don’t modify yourself to please somebody or fulfill their expectations. Be courageous. Don’t be afraid to try.
This was a huge help in my life and still is. All I am doing here is sharing my experiences with you with the goal to show you a different perspective on certain things in order to help you.
Brother. I hope this helps you and all other people that need it.
Please reach out to me and let me know how this helped you. It would mean the world to me.
You give me your question and I will answer them for you. Reach out to me via e-mail email@example.com or over my social media accounts. (Facebook or Instragram @thomascosic94)
Thank you for reaching out.
Big Love to you