Good morning World,
Before you read this. THANK YOU!
For checking in on this site. For searching to grow stronger and develop yourself. I appreciate it! Thank your for the support from everyone that reached out to me!
THANK YOU! This is not about me it is about us!
Today I wanted to share an experience I was going through this week with the purpose to help someone else going through the same experience.
From 2015-2016 I set myself some goals. They were all specific towards one area of my life:
Health and Fitness
Goals 2016 until the open (the open are a worldwide online CrossFit competition over 5 weeks where everybody can participate to compare themselves to the best of the best):
- weigh 95 kg ( weighing at that time 132kg)
- 1 Ring Muscle-up
- being able to do all gymnastics movements
- doing it Rx that means as the workout is prescribed
- not missing a day of training
- weighing and counting my macros consistently
I accomplished all of them. I was proud of myself. Knowing now gymnastics movements are not holding me back from being able to do the open as prescribed.
People around me started to recognize that I was changing. Both physically and as a person.
I did not recognize the change immediatly. For me the weight loss and archieving those goals felt normal. I did not feel the feeling of being proud immediatly. I feel it now in this moment after almost 7 months after the open. Breathing with a wide open chest feeling accomplished.
People around me were telling me what an amazing transformation I archieved in that small amount of time. How I was expressing, walking, talking and breathing diffrently.
I did not feel it.
I even was not able to accept, receive and say thank you to compliments. I would be always saying: “Nah, it is nothing special everybody can do it.”
Not giving the archievement it’s party it deserved to have. (Which is very important!)
That feeling of being proud with a wide open chest settled in after an experience. I participated in the grounding camp 2016 from Elliott Hulse.
There I recognized and felt why I was not able to take compliments!
The two most powerful words:
YES and NO
Saying NO means setting up boundaries that can not be violated. Saying NO to the outer world means saying yes to yourself.
At the beginning of this journey I was pretty damn good at saying YES to others and horrible and saying NO.
I was a people pleaser. Pleasing people to just get a positive response and to get their approval to have the feeling that I am something special.
After landing in the deepest hole of depression I ever was. I started to be a “bad boy” if you will and started saying NO to everyone. NO to everyone to set up boundaries and create my safe environment where I can grow and let new seeds grow.
To enter a new journey, a call to adventure you need to first set up boundaries. This is vital! Before saying YES to yourself you need to say first NO to the outer world. Setting up boundaries at places that feel pleasing and comfortable to you. Getting yourself out of situations and atmospheres that are not longer supporting you on this new adventure of growing and expanding yourself.
In order to grow and become a stronger version of yourself. First you need to let go of the person you are. Only then you are allowing something greater to come in and let the seeds grow.
All the habits, all the circumstances, the pleasures. Everything that is not anymore supportive. Get rid of it
In the grounding camp there was an exercise where we were told to say YES and NO not only to say it but to express, embody and feel it.
I said NO like it was no problem. My body feeling full of energy. Expressing with my whole body HELL NO I have my boundaries and no one is able to break them. NO ONE! I am safe.
Saying YES was very hard for me. At least 10 times it came up in my head. You are not believing yourself when you are saying YES.
Fake it till you make it! I faked it everytime. Until I reached a point where hidden energy arised and I went crazy on saying YES.
Saying YES means accepting yourself as you are.
As sharing with you before. I was not able to take compliments. I was not able to say YES to myself.
After feeling the energy arise in me standing up in front of over 100 people and screaming YES. Watching every single one with the look of determination and from a place of abundance.
I said YES to myself and now through that I began celebrating.
I drank and went out to party. Let myself go free and crazy. Let my routines fall of. Which were in first place the things that got me there.
After doing that for a week.
Now the celebration is over and it is time to set new goals.
How did I feel that the celebration is over? Simple I started getting into my head and thinking negative thoughts. If I would continue doing those things they would lead me into a downward spiral.
Time to get to work is now.
The first step for me will be to make goals and plan how I will archieve them.
This will be a topic for itself. How I personally set goals.
For today I send you this invitation:
- first sit down in a quite room. Turning everything off that could possibly disturb you
- sit down in solitude. You and the silence of the room. Focus on your breath. Thoughts will creep in let them do not fight them!
- Ask yourself: Am I better at saying YES or NO. This will not feel pleasant. You are looking in the mirror and asking yourself: Did I set any boundaries to the outer world to say YES to my inner world or did you say to much times NO that you forgot to say YES to yourself
- Now: experience your feelings. You will immediatly recognize what is no longer supporting you. Your gut and intuition will tell you what needs to be changed.
I am going through this stage. Letting go of habits that are no longer supportive and building up new ones. Letting some boundaries fall and build up new ones in order to spray new seeds.
I feel very uncomfortable and scared of that process.
Total honesty and openness to you.
How do I know it is right ? My heart tells me it is right. My whole body is charging up and expressing it. I always follow my heart even if it scares me.
If you do not know how to handle the experience. How to turn it into action. Reach out ot me.
Email me. Reach out on Facebook. Comment.
I know it takes courage to do that. It is totally ok to ask for help it is a strength not a weakness.
Get out of your head and into your body.