Definition of a tribe:
“a group of persons having a common character, occupation, or interest”
Definition of a mentor:
“someone who teaches or gives help and advice to a less experienced person”
These were the best definition I could find.
This is one of the most important (maybe the most important) topics that I have been missing in my early years of developing myself.
In my early years I was filled full of anger on everybody especially myself. I put on a armour grabbed my sword without my shield. The shield would have been useless because I was going to war and knew I was going to succeed. Going to war cutting of the chains that have been put on me and slaying the dragon that was standing in front of my cave that ensured that I did not get out and did not change!
The dragon is a metaphor. The dragon is what you SHOULD be. What you SHOULD be doing! You should be going to school. You should be nice to everyone. You should be a good boy. You should always listen to mommy and daddy. You should be happy with your job. You should not follow your passion it is too risky. You should not be doing this! You should listen and never make your own decisions. This dragon stand for all the things you should be. I was tired of that. I cut of the chains. Started fighting and challenging all the of the things that I should be.
Slay the dragon (all the expectations associated with it) and you will be reborn!
I slayed the dragon on my own! Filled with drive and commitment of becoming who I am supposed to be and slaying everybody who gets into my way.
Resisting my parents advice on finding a job that was secure. To go get a job in a bank or a big business where you are safe. Letting friends go that were no longer supporting me on this journey. Trying to bring me back to who I was before so that I can fit into the group.
NO WAY THIS TIME !
Finally I slayed everything on my way to unleash my power within. I cut of the chains.
This slaying did come with a price to pay.
There is a saying which goes: Do not be a hero!
A hero is often found in movies. That is the one who does his own thing not listening and taking orders from no one but himself. He risks not only his life but also the life of everyone around him. From the outside he looks brave, self-confident and strong. On the inside he feels very lonely and has built a shelter around him.
I was a hero. Risking my own life and always walking away and thinking these people do not understand me! These people do not get what I am doing: They want bad for me! This included also me thinking that my family wanted me to fail.
The hero is the immature version of the mature man. The hero in his fullness is the warrior. The warrior is the true mature reflection of the man.
First of all it has nothing to do with them but it has everything to do with YOU!
Read it again and say it out loud.
It has nothing to do with them but it has everything to do with YOU!
I gave my surroundings my parents, my friends the fault that I was in this situation. But it wasn’t there fault it was mine.
This is very important to understand. This is the first step: telling yourself the truth and taking responsibility.
It took me lonely 3,5 years to slay the dragon alone.
Now I have the wisdom to know if I would have been in a tribe with like minded people or have had a mentor that wanted me to succeed and I wanted to see him and everybody else around me succeed I could slay the dragon faster with love and gratitude instead of anger and pain.
I came to this realization now. Now after working 1,5 years in my mission that I love and with people that support me, understand my passion that I have for what I do, that are next to me and helping me lift me up when things do not go as expected. I am able to overcome and fight through any opportunity life is giving me to become a better human being.
I accelerated my process 100x just by creating the circumstances I deserved to have around me. I lost 42 kg in one year. I created myself new opportunities. I made new best friends that support and challenge me daily to get the best out of me.
I surrounded myself with amazing people. I can share my experiences daily without being judged. They empower me and I empower them. They share with me the hardships and I take it with appreciation and with grace that I am able to see that I am not alone going through tough times.
You are not alone with your hardships!
If you struggle to find a tribe here is the way I did it:
- take an area out of your life that you are happy with. Something that you love to do. For me it was my passion for health/fitness and personal development. It could be anything just pick one area.
- Find a place where you can find like minded people. I joined a CrossFit box. Find places, areas, gatherings, seminars anything goes here.
This takes a ton of courage from you to do it and the ability to be vulnerable and open to other people. Throwing yourself into an unknown situation.
- Get yourself in that uncomfortable situation and walk towards other people! Don’t expect people flying to you. Reach out to them! Shake hands say hello share your story and your passion and you will be able to find someone that has the same interests that you do!
I went in with the story telling myself:
“This is the place where I belong. I deserve to have these people around me! They want to speak with me as much as I want to speak with them.”
Be Open. Trade appreciation for expectation
This is the way I did it. This is my experience and it turned out perfectly to work and I am still doing it to this day. Slaying my inner dragon to a faster rate than ever before!
This works to 100% I did it to myself and I shared it with other people that used it and had success with it.
If you still struggle with applying this or do not know how to do it? Contact me! I will share with you my experience and guide you through it.
Leave comments down below. This is the easiest way for me to serve you.
Tell yourself the truth and take on responsibility and conquer what has been placed to be yours in this life.